doing what you said you’d do

The word "accountability" has many definitions that seem to mean roughly the same thing. If I knock your cupcake off the table, I should answer for the harm I've caused. The least I can do is apologize, notice what I've done and acknowledge the fact. But for me, accountability is also a reckoning with the consequences of my actions. When we seek accountability from others, we want them to right their wrongs. We want justice, whatever that means to us. Accountability shows up in so many places that I have been wondering what it means deep down. Why are calls for it so prevalent? Is it standing in for something else, something that we really want?

doing what you said you’d do

Accountability takes many forms in the workplace. Lily Zheng says it's how organizations and their leaders are "held to task" for doing what they say they'll do. A quick online search led me to so many good-advice folks who promised to break it down for me. Accountability in these guides tilted towards managers holding their employees accountable. Some writers offered 5 easy steps for accountability. Others, 10. Still others said we could demand accountability from our colleagues with 7 steps, or 3 steps.

But even when it's not sanctioned, accountability often flows in both directions. The work of a team, organization, or collective asks us to be accountable to each other. Taking on too much might mean burnout or actions we forget to take. Doing something wrong means delaying the next step while we redo that work. We can promise organizational change or better wages, but people will know if we don't deliver. The basic steps of accountability are the same:

1. Agree on the expectations we have for each other
2. Deliver on those expectations
3. If that doesn't happen, settle the consequences

The 10-step process is this but padded out. One of the steps in that guide was, "Thunderbolts!" Choose your own adventure, I guess.

accountability is not punishment

Accountability often stands in for more appropriate words. We may call it justice, but that's another word that's twisted into different meanings. Kate McCord's Harm and Accountability Conversation Seed Packet (pdf) describes another example. She reminds us that people say accountability when they mean punishment. Those aren't the same thing. Accountability acknowledges harm and the impact it's had. It tries to make right what went wrong.

Punishment is more about replying to harm with harm. It can mean revoking a person's freedom (jail) or causing them to suffer (also jail). There's often little to no expectation of repair. Punishment is often carried out by someone other than the person they harmed. "Being punished only means we have to endure the punishment."

accountability is personal

We call for accountability when we feel wronged on a personal or even a systemic level. People within a movement may call for repair when someone acts against our shared values. Communities demand action when their elected officials fail them. In Accounting for Violence, Danielle Sered wrote these 5 key elements of accountability:

• acknowledging one’s responsibility for one’s actions;
• acknowledging the impact of one’s actions on others;
• expressing genuine remorse;
• taking actions to repair the harm to the degree possible; and
• no longer committing similar harm.

Sered suggests that in true accountability, a person must hold on to their agency and dignity. It's not possible to force someone to be accountable for their actions. We can't shame someone into remorse for their actions. Who else has ever had to give a playground apology through gritted teeth? It probably feels even worse when it's a kid who has to do it.

I find Sered's framework so universal because of how linked accountability is to harm. Accounting for Violence is a handbook that offers us a way out of systems of carceral punishment. More than that, it's a guide on how we could transform our whole society.

We could all learn new ways of acknowledging and attempting repair for the harm we cause each other. Experiencing harm, committing harm, is personal! It can have an impact on us even when the harm isn't physical. Remedying that harm shouldn't feel impossible or terrifying. Mia Mingus offered a perspective on this that I loved. "What if our own accountability wasn’t something we ran from, but something we ran towards and desired, appreciated, held as sacred?" Instead of nursing old wounds, or avoiding the ones we gave to others, we could give each other the closure we seek?

what we mean to each other

Accountability is at its core about relationships. People are people. We mess up. We stumble onward. A missed chance to repair harm risks the long-term relationships we have with each other. Trust is so hard to rebuild.

Accountability is another word for respect. Through it we show people who we really are, good or bad. We show what matters to us and who matters to us. The seed of this essay began with a screenshot of a TikTok I found (cursed statement). The author wrote,

"True accountability does not seek punishment but healing, and it does not exist without care—care for ourselves, care for those impacted, and care for the futures we are building together. Even when self-love feels out of reach, we move toward accountability with the belief that everyone is capable of growth, worthy of dignity, and deserving of a future rooted in justice and healing, even ourselves.”

Accountability is not a solo project. The person harmed and the person held to account must come to the table. All sides must commit to repair. Through accountability, all sides heal.